:'/

how can one person hope for something so much
and his partner not see it ?
i remember everything last night,
" do you still like me... ?"
.
.
" i dont know? i dont know? "
im sorry.
i know you didnt want a relationship this serious
and im sorry that i am
i really like you for who you are
whether you change or not
i'd take you for your ups and down
haihz, i thought foreverness was real.
what happened to our plan of holding on even when we lost feelings?
i guess we're just too different
we see things differently
i love God most and love our relationship
you, see things differently
and it does make you beautiful in your own way
and i hope you find somebody who can see that beauty
just as i have .
any guy would be lucky to be with you
hope you find somebody who doesnt take things too seriously
well, thanks for making it the best 2009 in my life.
Feb since i met you till 25 Nov
whoever reads my blog, just dont ask
and dont tease me or whatever
im not in the mood to hear anything.

Jeremiah 29:11
For i know the plans i have for you , declares the Lord, plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i can be
thinking maybe you'll come back to the place that we meet
and you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
im not moving

when a heart breaks no it dont break even
what am i gonna do when the best part of me is always you
what am i supposed to say when im all choked up and you're okay
im falling to pieces ....
im falling to pieces ....

step by step :)

Alright, so i talked to a certain SOMEBODY lately
and he helped me a lot with stuff that im going through
life is kinda hard at times huh?
and i honestly have been pulling myself down a LOT lately.
like telling myself what i cant do all the time,
telling myself how rotten and broken i am
and i guess what he said that made sense to me was just that
change doesnt happen overnight, its a little by little process.
and i do need to cut myself some slack :p
i can be really negative at times , really.
im trying this ' assignment ' with him >.<
well its like im really serious about changing
and now every morning i wake up and set a goal
for example to be more aware with the 'things i say ' to people.
and its NOT easy man ! really ! :/
i fail terribly :(
God seems distant at times huh? and i want God. a lot.

hey, i know you're feeling sad and broken now.
i just wanna let you know im here for you! :)
bestfriends till the end, alright?
and dont worry , a brighter day ALWAYS comes.
take hints from me, the KING of broken-ness >.<
remember that how else but through a broken heart can God enter in? :)
God loves you!

jkyy, im difficult and tough to be around.
and i say a lot of stupid stuff all alll allll the time.
i hope our contract still lasts ,
" love me in ups, downs and in the middles "
:/

"Most people come into our lives and quickly leave. It is the special few that come in and leave a footprint in our hearts. and we are forever changed."

i will be here :)

I will be here - Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I...I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love
Hold my hand and have no fear
'Cause I...I will be here

I will be here...
When you feel like bein' quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin'
We'll be together
'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I...I'll be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
I...I will be here

I will be here....
You can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you

And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true
To the promise I have made
To you and to the
One who gave you to me

I...I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
'Cause I...
I will be here....
We'll be together

'Cause I will be here

i dedicate this to my bestfriends and the ones who just makes my life,
mean more to me everyday :)

:)

hey, i know we havent been hanging out a lot lately.
and im sorry :/
ive been busy , but i really miss you both.
through the fire and all , you've both been there for me.
thanks :')
just wanna say that i miss you both, alot.
hope this simple post is meaningful enough. :/

its time to let it out.

im weird. im different.
ive been tossing the whole day thinking about it ,
what i feel for rebecca, its different from what every guy feels,
i felt like its weird but now im starting to come around.
i used to think that relationships are all about kissing,
or hugging or holding each other or touching each other. ( im open).
but i just realized thats not ALL i wanna do only. it really isnt.
i know this may come weird to everybody cause i mean,
which guy doesnt want to do those stuff right?
well i just happen to be that 1% of other guys , call me gay whatever.
i want something more with rebecca :P
a relationship that isnt dependent on how many times you've kissed each other!
a relationship that is of God, that is of love.
and although sometimes rebecca and i dont see eye to eye, its okay.
love is patient, and one day we will :)

i love you a lot, and its more than just the way you look or talk or dress wtv.
its somebody inside of you that i just love
that i feel happy knowing you're with me.
i dont dream of kissing you every second of my life,
which is weird right? rebecca,
sometimes all i wanna do is sit down and watch you talk the whole day
i wanna get to know you more and more:D
and maybe sometimes people think you're unlucky to have somebody
like me >.<
but i AM like that, thats the truth , i wanna know you
i wanna be able to call you my best friend
and i wanna be the guy for you
i wanna be the one who's there for you in your ups and downs
and i wanna be the one who understands you when nobody does
i wanna be the one who'd hear you out when everybody
thinks you're talking crazy :)
i want God to be the reason we live and breathe and eat,
that He'll be the glue that gels us together;)

you wanna hear some weird weird dates i wanna do with you?
i feel like going to a smelly market and just laughing at the smell xD
or going to the library and checking out the history or somebody old old old!
or helping an elderly man do gardening or sumthing
maybe we can also put a jigsaw puzzle together?
or go play golf and see who sucks more >.<
we can go out and try foreign food together !
or go try kite flying? :D
maybe we can like rock climb and see who can reach the top fastest!
we can go people watching in the mall HAHHA
or go and see the ugly clothes they have in One Utama xD
we can write a corny crazy song together
or go play tennis or squash together:)
lets clean each other's houses ! >.<
or clean my room, for me HAHA
we can go to a musuem together and checkkout stuff.
or watch old old family videos and laugh at our baby vids
or go Christmas shopping or go fishing ! xD
lets try imitating famous people haaha
rebecca i go so many stuff i wanna do with you,
that doesnt revolve around... u know. and i just hope,
you'd take me for what i am whatever i am, i also dunno.
i just wanna know you're happy with the way i am,
that although im not like those cool people, that you'd want me still.
that although im crappy , that yo'd still love me^^
im corny and sucky and im a bad boyfriend . wtv :)

i love you and i want to be your bestfriend.
i want you to be my bestfriend. let's :)
p.s. i love you.

Of Choir Practices and SPM-ers:D

oooh :D finally, school's over for us Prefects xD
i met Rebecca at a restaurant the other day !
was so happy , kept smiling like crazy :)

ysterday choir practices started,
went to One Utama to meet with Ken Ming
we both went back to his place
then went to Doreen's house for practice
going to be fun every monday! :D
Ken Ming's a real nice person to talk to !
anyways, nothing much, Christmas songs are nice
teehee, missing theBestfriends aLotz!

Oh, ALL THE BEST for SPM-takers!~

just something i wanna share from a certain friend to me,
" you dont need to try to get people to fill your 'cup' ,
God is more than enough for you,
everything else is a blessing " :)

wats up?:D

hello hello :D
havent been blogging much,
nothing much has been happening actually.
my life has pretty much been stagnant and static :/
although there have been some problems,
i think im losing my people social skills :(
im fighting with people more often than resolving things.
sigh. but i guess it takes these mistakes to realize you've gone wrong.
so yeah, im sorry to you all who've i hurt recently.
anyways it was the last day of school yesterday,
spent my day with rebecca and brandon , was really fun:)
we played some weird Word games =p




I MISS JASMINE AND MICHELE :(
A LOT :(
wanna hang out !


OH, P.s - i watched Grey's Anatomy season1-5 already.
so much drama, I LOVE IT:D

happy Be-be-be lated birthday! :)

Happy Birthday HongLing! :D
it was a great party >.< im officially the No.1 Poser and Soreloser xD haha hope you had a great day HongLing. Enjoy 16-ness ! :D
















p.s. - Zen is weird :D